No. It’s just a word, but why is it that we are so afraid to say it? Whether it’s psychological or the fact of being a people pleaser like me it’s easier to say yes and make everyone happy which only leads to you being unhappy because now you have to do something you don’t want to do.
Saying yes to too many things is counter productive because once our plates become too full, things start to slip. Building fences to help us feel comfortable saying no is a good thing and something that will help you to be successful.
Things you should say yes to : things that make you happy or you enjoy, that advance your career path, and that won’t distract us from reaching our goals.
Here are some things to keep in mind when you’re considering making a commitment to someone.
- Set your boundaries beforehand & stick to them.
- If it takes your time and it doesn’t benefit you personally or professionally say no.
- Don’t be afraid to create some white space on your calendar.
- Accept people’s reactions and move on.
- Have a solid honest reason, don’t fall down the rabbit hole of excuses.
- Take time to answer if you need it. i.e. “Let me think about it”.
- Thank them for thinking of you or offering.
Learning to say no will help you avoid resentment. Most of the time if you’re honest and upfront with someone about the way you feel they will understand. If you need to practice saying no get in front of a mirror. Learning to say no was very hard for me, but I can’t tell you how much happier I am now that I have learned. I have time to do things that I enjoy and that help me to learn and grow as a person. Saying no doesn’t make you mean and learning the reasons you say no is important as well. It will allow you to live in a more positive state of mind where you don’t dread commitments or complain the entire time you’re doing it.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF. IT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL BE HAPPINESS.
It’s overwhelming the amount of “healthy protein pack” food there are on the market. I know I’m not the only one who has felt lost navigating the seas of fitness and health, so I’ve done some research to help me decide which protein bars are the best for your specific goals and what exactly I’m looking for on these labels that seem to be in a different language.
In general these are thing you want to keep in mind :
- Sugar Intake. Look for a bar with 6 or less grams. You can have a bar with a little more sugar if you’re eating it right before an intense workout.
- Sugar Alcohols! You can test it our for yourself but for a lot of people it causes bloating.
- Get a bar that has fiber in it. Fiber will help you feel full for longer. It also helps stabilize blood sugar, controls cholesterol, and improves digestion.
- Check the ingredient list. Keep it as small as possible, you don’t want a bunch of unknown ingredients just like anything else you put into your body.
- Carb to protein ratio. For fat loss 2:1 is good. 1:1 is even fine but don’t get a bar that has more carbs than protein. The higher carbs can be used after an intense workout.
- Dietary Fats, keep them as low as possible. (trans & saturated) But we still need some to help slow the carb release into our bloodstream.
- Meal Replacement – used for building lean muscle mass.
- At least 30 grams of protein is ideal to feel satisfied.
- 300-400 calories.
- 15-20 grams of protein.
- Around 200 calories.
- To make it more filling grab a handful of nuts as well.
One of my favorite things to do is set new goals. Write them down, track them as you progress, and finally CHECK THEM OFF! Here’s a few things I’ve learned along the way of my goal setting.
- Write it down and keep it somewhere you can see it on a regular basis to remind yourself what you are working for. I also like to write why this is my goal. For example right now I am doing a sugar cleanse. I wrote my goal of how long I’m going without sugar, specifics on what I can/can’t eat, and finally my reason being that it makes me feel yucky, tired, sluggish & it makes workouts harder.
- Be realistic with yourself. Instead of setting a goal to lose 20 lbs, break it down and lose 5 lbs at a time. You may find that you don’t actually need to lose 20 lbs just 15.
- SET A TIME FRAME! If you just say I want to save money for a puppy or whatever it is, the likelihood of it happening at least for me is slim. I have to say I will save $1,000 for a puppy by such and such date, I will save $100 a paycheck to get there.
- Don’t set too many. YES, I did just say that. If you set too many you lose focus and its better to zone in on a few and check those off and then set new ones. If you’re trying to do it all, everything gets half done and you’ll never get anywhere.
- Set long term & short term goals. I.e long term you want to help people, your short term goal would be to volunteer 2 hours a week for 8 weeks.
- Don’t be afraid to tell other people no. Something I struggle with is when I’m trying to resist something and someone says I’m dumb or I don’t need to lose this or do that and tries to offer it to me, I start to reason with myself. Just say no, don’t negotiate and justify. You’re doing this for you, not for them. Automatically know your answer is going to be no and pull out your reasons why.
Now go set some goals!!
MARCH! This month snuck up real quick and I can’t believe it’s already halfway over. Last weekend my sister and I went to see A Wrinkle In Time. It was amazing. I would try to explain how amazing, but really you should just go see it. Heartwarming. Encouraging. The directors did a great job. I have also been loving Oprah’s Podcast. It’s called SuperSoul Conversations and she has a guest each podcast and talks about important topics I think everyone could use (I.e. the secrets of happy people, making peace with yourself, the soul of money). My favorite app I downloaded this month was the LES MILLS on Demand. It’s a workout app that has been kicking my butt.
Songs on my current playlist:
The Difference – Tyler Rich
Fifty Shades Freed Album
Worth It – Danielle Bradbery
Came Here For Love – Sigala & Ella Eyre (Great workout song)
Ring Off – The Queen B
Onto things that I’m loving :
- Striped Button Front Dress from BP at Nordstrom. I’m ordering this for my sister bridal shower I am throwing at the end of this month. One of my favorite bloggers posted it and I had to have it. (Follow Lisa Allen from Salty Lashes)
- Floral Orange Kini Top & Bottom. The bottoms are a flattering high cut and the top is reversible!
- Flat Slider Sandals, of course they’re black. What else do you expect from me.
- Red Striped Short Sleeve Shirt. Only $39 and I’m running to buy for spring.
- Got split ends? Who am I kidding we all do. This Split End Mender from Sexy Hair is the best & smells so yummy.
- Kelly Green Button Front Romper. I typically avoid color at all costs but this springy green needs to be in my closet, right now.
- Ordered this Lip Mask everyone has been raving about.
- This hot pink t-shirt dress is SO CUTE! (I just tagged 2 things with color, look at me branching out)
- Target WIN with these black mules. I wear them to work a lot & LOVE them.
- This crisp white front button dress is to DIE for. Might have to snag this one for my sister at her bridal shower. Also comes in blue and yellow.
- David Bowie Tee, my sister will appreciate this because now I can stop stealing hers.
Also wanted to share a few of my skincare favorites because my skin has been freaking out lately so I’ve had to pull out the big guns.
- Detoxifying Charcoal Mud Mask
- Acne Fighting Sheet Mask – this works great for me but probably not amazing for people with super sensitive skin because it is strong.
- Drying Lotion – spot treatment to get rid of a zit overnight.
- For a toners I use this tea tree one from the Body Shop.
- Another ride or die is these acne treatment pads.
Favorite shops to browse:
www.allmodern.com – super affordable and cute home stuff.
www.showmeyourmumu.com – the vacay wear and spring time colors are to die for.
www.dermstore.com – all the skincare goodies you could ever want.
International Women’s Day is one to be celebrated by both males and females. No one would be here without the strong women of today’s day.
The personal chefs. The midnight school project wizards. Boardroom slayers. Children raisers. Advice givers. We couldn’t do anything without them. Sisters. Mothers. Friends. Grandmothers. Daughters. Cousins. Co-Workers.
Women are resilient and it’s time we started acting like it. Women are always hushed and never taken seriously, but little do they know the world as we know it would cease to exist without us. Be proud of that. Be proud of your accomplishments and who you are. We’re always telling everyone it’s fine, it’s no big deal but why do we diminish our accomplishments? Why do we make ourselves seem small? Why are we allowing ourselves to be silenced by the voice of a man? (No that doesn’t mean we should be man haters).
I remember a specific night me and my boyfriend at the time (now ex) went car shopping. For ME. All the car sales men directly went to him to talk to him about what car IIIIIII wanted.
Similar things have happened to my sister, an entrepreneur and business owner. In business meetings everyone turns to her male business partners ignoring their knowledge that she is the owner. It happens to women all over.
Now more than ever it is important to show everyone that we mean business. We have to do it for the future generations. We are more powerful than even we know. Who else can take care of a household, excel in their career, manage the upbringing of children, and serving others in their community and make it look easy? Giving so much is our super power but we have to remember where it starts and that is with us. You CANNOT pour from an empty cup. Before you can say I love you, you have to be able to say I.
The world is in our hands and I wish so badly that each and every girl knew their capabilities and tapped into their potential. We all have ideas and talents we haven’t even discovered that are just begging to be let out. We are not competitors rather a support system linked by something so much bigger than ourselves. Yet we still bring each other down? I think in order to bring about our full potential we need to start acting like we’re on the same team. Every single girl on this earth is different and beautiful in their own way. We set the standard for everything. We need to do better. Do you even know how powerful you are? Try it. Support other women. Encourage. Watch what happens. Reach out to just one woman a day for the next week. It’s amazing the good you can put into the world.
Here’s to strong women.
May we know them.
May we be them.
May we raise them.
YOU ARE SPECIAL. YOU ARE ONE IN A MILLION. YOU ARE A BADASS WOMAN.
The topic of authenticity and being genuine has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. Especially with so much content being put out onto the inter webs nowadays it’s become very superficial. You can never tell what is real and what is fake.
For me it is so important to remain true to myself.
Being a blogger in a world where there are literally hundreds of thousands of them. Posting outfits, articles, playlists, recipes and everything in between. The swipe uppers. The discount coders. Taking on sponsorships and collaborations just to get paid without even testing out products first. With me everything I post or recommend is something that I have purchased, tried, and loved MYSELF. I know I am small but even if companies were sending me things to test out, I will NEVER recommend something I haven’t honestly loved. I will never take advantage of this platform I have to talk and fill it with lies or photoshop. I will never fake the “my life is perfect” act because it isn’t. It’s far from it to be quite honest but it’s my life and I absolutely love every second of it.
There are tons of bloggers and people out there doing exactly what I am doing here, but I hope you feel my realness. I love fashion and beauty, but if you’ve been reading my blog lately it’s been much more than that. It’s given me a lot more confidence to continue to post good content that others can relate to. I love hearing peoples stories. I love connecting with people. Yes, I am going to still be posting beauty and fashion but this blog is becoming much more than I could have ever imagined. The people who have reached out to me telling me they’ve struggled with anxiety or that they love that I am willing to talk about such a touchy subject I APPRECIATE YOU! More than you know.
In a world of filters, editing, and photoshop there is a lack of realness. For all of us. I hope that I can help to bring it back. This isn’t a job for me and it never will be. It’s something I enjoy and love doing. I hope I can help others have the courage to do the same and be confident in what they do have and not worry about what they don’t. Everyone on social media whether you’re a blogger or not could use more raw authenticity. Don’t be afraid to be you. I’m here blogging, being the link in bio girl, putting myself out there and it is really scary and at times I feel silly. What difference can I make in the world? Why would people want to hear what I have to say when there’s so many already doing this same thing? Here I am still writing, still creating and I will never stop.
I was created to create.
Finally January is over! Am I the only one who feels like it is easily the longest month of the year? Onto February, it’s starting to feel like it’s Spring and I am LOVING it! Which means new colors, new fashion, and cleaning out everything! I love getting rid of old clothes and re-doing my closet pretty much every season. I have my classics that are good year round and then my seasonal pieces I mix in. Here are the things I am obsessing over at the moment.
- I’ve been using this teeth whitener toothpaste for a while now and need another tube actually.
- The sweetest girl at my lash salon showed me this amazing hand cream. It smells amazing and makes my hands softer than any other lotion I’ve ever used. It’s like liquid silk.
- Another favorite skin combo is my shea sugar scrub and the hemp tropical hand lotion.
- Might be buying this geometric succulent wall hanger for a specific bridal shower.
- The perfect crew neck tee, under $10 which means I can buy it in every color and not feel bad about it.
- The cutest/comfiest jersey dress for running errands or even church.
- My mom bought the cutest black mules that I will be stealing from her.
- I’m going to need a little more motivation to go to the gym. I think these chalk pink Rebok trainers will work or these black adidas.
- Cropped sweatershirt I would like in every single color. Only $25.
- Needing this she is fierce mantraband. And anything else women empowerment.
- This recommendation also comes with a warning. Once you start you cannot stop with this candle. No it is not just any candle I know what you’re thinking.
- Anything BP from Nordstrom/Nordstrom Rack is my JAM! Especially these springy mauve colored round sunglasses. Don’t feel bad if you lose or break them because they were only $14.
- Also from BP, tier sleeve sweatshirt dress. Would look so cute with these sneaks.